In awe of your strength
Not 30 minutes ago, I thought I would
become one of almost half of American women who would decide to have an abortion.
The last 7 or 8 minutes have been the most intense of my entire 22 years of life.
I am almost 2 weeks late (though my cycle is erratic), and on the way home from
work today, I picked up an EPT.
Last month was my first time having sex
with a guy I've liked for 3 years, and we used protection. Up until a week ago,
pregnancy wasn't even a possibility. My heart was beating so hard my shirt was
literally jumping off my chest, I could barely breathe, and I was sure I'd pass
out at any second. I looked to this website for a cyber-shoulder to lean on...I
just couldn't allow myself to share my fear with anyone in real life because it
would make it too real.
It took every last ounce of strength I had to hold
that little plastic stick in the bathroom. When my microwave kitchen timer screamed
telling me the 3 minute wait was up, I could barely walk back to see if a little
pink stripe would send me plummeting down my spiral to hell. I love children,
but there is no way I could ever tell my family I was pregnant or be a mommy at
this point in my life.
When I found only one line, I fell to the floor
shaking and crying and thanking God and Goddess for sparing me. Before my pulse
could return to normal or my hands stopped shaking, I crawled into my room to
bow down to all of you and tell you how strong you all are...so young, so desperate,
so sad and scared. I've never known nor will I ever know anyone so brave as a
woman who has lived through the experience you all have shared on this site. I
thank you all for helping me through the last hour.
Forever in your debt,
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